Baggage

Good morning, all. Recently, I had a conversation with a close friend who is saddened by the fact that she just can't seem to land Mr. Right. In fact, according to her, after 1st. dates, she hardly ever hears from guys anymore. As soon as those words were out of her mouth, I knew what the problem was but instead of me telling her, I wanted her to tell herself. I knew she had a date this past Friday night with this new hot guy she'd been raving about so I asked how the date went. What did they talk about? Where is he from? What church does he attend? Who is his employer? Did he talk about his family? Well, after I asked those questions, my friend went to town and didn't stop talking for about 30 minutes. I was even able to lay the phone down, tend to my puppy, come back to the phone and listen. She never knew I had stepped away. Her problem? She's a woman scorned that talks too much. She told me this hot guy said to her, "So, tell me about yourself." For some crazy reason, she thought he wanted to know EVERYTHING. As soon as she opened her mouth, suitcases, tote bags, briefcases, purses and even shoe boxes of negative information came pouring off her tongue. Within 5 minutes of their date (they haven't even looked at their menus yet), this man knew every detail of her rocky marriage and bitter divorce. Her ex-cheated, he created a child outside their marriage, he did this and he did that. Well, no wonder guys don't call her for a 2nd date. Why should they have to carry all of her baggage? Ladies, when a guy says, "Tell me about yourself", he wants to know about you personally. Tell him your likes, what you do for fun, what creative skills you may have, what your interests are, any goals you're working toward achieving. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT bring your baggage and past relationships into your conversation. And please let him get a word in edgewise. Share the table, don't dominate it. Yes, everyone may have a little luggage but men will run away if they feel forced to carry yours. TMI, (too much information) on a 1st. date will not work in your favor. Your new guy doesn't want to know what your ex did. He doesn't want to deal with your reluctance to let go of your past. In fact, today, open all your luggage, suitcases, tote bags and let them air out. Spray them with Fabreeze and get rid of the stench from the past. It's a new day. WOMAN UP. Get over it so you can get on with it. If you can learn to keep your mouth shut on a 1st. date, the guy may find you a bit mysterious and wanna know more about you. And guess what, you'll get that 2nd. date.

Kita